Indecent Exposure

I haven't done anything interesting for Halloween in the last two years, but this year I watched Ong Bak by myself in a dark room that did not belong to me. It was pretty awesome, and I'm going to pursue this feeling.

I've also lost all motivation in all my classes except two, which terrifies me. I've got about eight hours of work due for tomorrow and I still haven't started, and I've been trying since Thursday night.

Meltdown imminent.

You never notice this type of thing.

Classes are kinda kicking my ass this semester. I've picked up one and dropped two, and at least three of my five are killer, for various reasons.

In other news, I definitely need new clothes, Ithaca autumn became way too cold way too soon this year, and Pacquiao/Cotto had better be a great match and had better end in a KO.

... Also, when the hell did I turn twenty?

Year is awesome so far.

A summer in limbo, waiting for something to happen.

Finished a bunch of shows. Read The Master and Margarita. Saw a truly awful chick flick (jeez Scarlett what happened to your career). Finished DEEP AND MEANINGFUL PORN GAME. Discovered 'Physics Forums' augh.

Went deep sea fishing with my dad and his coworker Saturday. Apparently I got sunburned, but I don't think I tanned at all from it due to having to wear long sleeves in the sea wind. Best part was clearly being on a motherfucking boat.

Purchased an MBTA pass today at North Station. In person. The online purchase deadline was two weeks ago. Who knew these things could be done without the internet?

Summer grades rolled in. ( Awesome. )

Been sleeping early, 11:00-ish, nightly. Been reading - finished Life of Pi, halfway through Norwegian Wood. Saw Pixar's Up with Steff, Robert, and their unfortunate Asian friends including Sue, Alice Yang, and Mike Gan. Ate at Bertucci's that night.

Working at Boston University's lab. Unpaid nanotechnology research. No project yet, hoping to get one soon. Commute's expensive and lengthy, $17.50 and 200 minutes a day. Haven't done too much there yet, but I'm hoping it pays off. Icky.

Been playing Brawl, hanging out with the girlfriend, watching the grand majority of Scrubs, 30 Rock. Gonna start on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and How I Met Your Mother.

Bulletpoints aren't a great way to communicate, but sufficient for now. Reading Murakami and Pi has inevitably put me in a 'Holy **** I don't want to forget what happens in my life' phase again, so I'm just trying to recount, if not emotions, events.

Not up to much.

Gimme two more weeks of classes before this break. I don't want six weeks of distilled hell when I go back!

Augh.

Is it really impossible for me to keep up to date with this?

School this semester should be good. Had a rough start on the first few problem sets but DON'T I ALWAYS. Trying to be as responsible as possible. Going to class, working at a new job, exercising, and applying to summer internships.

'Reflection' was a word that my elementary school teachers and middle school teachers used a lot to describe what we were supposed to be writing. I had no idea what this actually meant. To me, a reflection was the really good-looking dude I saw in the mirror. I still don't know exactly what it means, but I know I can write them now.

I don't want to look backwards too much, but I'll try to highlight some defining characteristics of 2008.

I watched only two hours of 24. I gouged myself on LOST, The Office, new seasons of House, Arrested Development, Higurashi, and Dexter. I watched a couple of anime and a couple of movies. I rewatched Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball, Gankutsuou, Batman, and Disney's Robin Hood. I saw The Dark Knight three times.

I hated my roommate. I paid my own rent. I found out that I need a ton of space at times and can desire less of it at others.

I beat Garou: Mark of the Wolves and took up Tetris. I played mafia for a dozen hours a day and burned myself out on it as the player quality fell. I was supremely unhelpful at my job. I played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney.

I made more lists. I learned that there's always more improvement that 'has' to be done. I improved my resume's format without improving its content. I learned that I like my major and the people in it. I raised my GPA one semester and lowered it the next. I want to graduate early and get a Master's degree. I bought preppy clothes. I dressed like I went to the Ivy League. I went to the Ivy League. I cultivated the size of my ego.

I gave gifts that scored me peace of mind. I used uTorrent. I pirated textbooks. I pirated music. I asked for recommendations. I took very few recommendations. I started typing without capitalizing. I spent days working on schedules that didn't matter. I slept more in class. I fell asleep while driving. I slept less in class. I ate on campus. I ate off campus. I ingrained myself as a regular at Subway and Sindbad's. I ate over thirty chicken quesadillas.

Turns out that this post wasn't a reflection in the sense I wanted it to be, after all. I'd wanted to comment on each item, but the list grew and grew, and the importance of each event diminished as I went, so I just got rid of any flow or explanation that would go with anything. So now I have a list of actions, passive and active, that I executed during this year.

2009, shall we?

What I miss most about Christmas isn't getting presents, since that's something I guess I outgrew before even getting to high school. I miss loving snow instead of dreading having to shovel it or drive in it. I miss sitting in the back seat of the minivan listening to Christmas songs crackle on the radio. I miss running outside and going sledding in the backyard for the first time every year on Christmas day. I miss having a Christmas tree and Christmas lights around and in my house. I miss the Christian, slightly sacred feeling of the church inside. It felt like the most wonderful time of the year.

Mesdames, messieurs, bon soir.

Classes are over! Hence this semester is 80% over. Only a few papers, problem sets, and finals to take care of before we hit that big 37.5%. Not much of a landmark number when typed out as a decimal. 3/8 looks more impressive, I guess.

I worked on my tentative schedule for the coming years last night and on my resume earlier tonight and feel really good about both. In fact, I just want to post 'em here so that you can all marvel at it, except I'd feel even more egotistical than I do bragging about it! Also I need a job, and I probably need to organize my thoughts, since right now the pieces of my brain are here, there, and there.

Really want to get those A's. I'll feel legitimized after the wash that was freshman year. Baby, don't hurt me no more.

I'm surprised and impressed.

The last time I was at home, you might remember I made a highly depressing and mellow entry about how it felt like the world was falling apart without me. Now, it seems as if they've pulled things together. When I showed up Tuesday morning at one-thirty-ish to a sleeping house, I found my lawn mown and my room cleaned. My room has not been clean, scientifically, since around 2005. Granted, I'm not sure where gazillions of once-valuable and sentimental objects have gone, but it's an amazing sensation. Same sensation I got from cleaning out my room in Collegetown, except twenty thousand times more powerful.

In other news, the mailbox is fixed, my mom's clinic is immense, and my sister's got a new computer to infect with viruses, since the old one is dead. I talked to her yesterday and watched Baccano! Seems like she's having a difficult time with her freshman year of high school. I just hope that it doesn't destroy her to the point that she can never get her act together again. One of the greatest defining characteristics of my eventual high school path was the influx of AE classes in my freshman year. Having easy A's was a major morale booster, and even the utter failure that was sophomore year couldn't stop this one's succeeding self-portrayal as one of comebacks and KOs.

I can use my desk that I got in middle school for the first time for my laptop and it is unbelievable. I'm choosing to hold off on wearing my preppy blue shirt/sweater combinationfor the time being, since I didn't bring that many clothes. Retro is the way to go on this. Wore my high school sweatshirt yesterday and hope to get some action in regarding 24: Redemption today.

Typing with capitalization and punctuation is wonderful! Wonderful, I say!

But sometimes, there are those that slay me.

...

Well, I did worse on a problem set for Mechanics than I did on the prelim for Quantum.

Not that either was good. Augh.

Also I'm nineteen and today was awesome.

Bleh, prelim was not good.

I really need to get my act together. Academically for one thing, and I feel really bad about not doing anything outside of class. Plus the Wii batteries are currently dead, and that irritates me, since now I don't play Wii for fun. All I can do is rewatch DBZ - not that that isn't fun, of course.

Because otherwise, this problem sets are just going to murder me.

This is my theory, at least for now.

In other news, Thursdays and Fridays so far are awesome. But then, it's easy to be a bum...

I'm not sure how many feel this way - doubtful that most of my friends do, for sure - but it seems like this summer is exactly like the summer between my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college. Feels like the last one that I'll be spending in Acton with this group of people.

Not to whine or anything. On the plus side, I'm trying to lay out my expenses for next year, because planning makes me happy. Lists, numbers, figures, estimations. Prepare yourself!

I personally think it's amazing that no one posts anymore.

The word 'amazing' doesn't actually mean it shocked me. I expected this, really, but it's still depressing and ironic in that predictable way of life.

You'd think that as we grew further apart, it would become more and more crucial to make those posts to update each other on how we were doing. But it makes sense that we don't, anymore. Too much exposition, too little relevance. It ain't the same, and of course there's good reason for that. We don't live the same lives anymore, and no longer do we have unique views on the same situation. Rather, we have comparatively similar views on different situations.

Well, I'm still here.

Even though none of my LJ friends has posted in God-knows-how-long and I've created a Blogspot in place of LJ, I've decided to come back for a little while.

There's something refreshing about privacy out in the open. I mean, when I first made this, it was my escape from the spotlight, when everyone's eyes were fixated on Xanga. Then, gradually, people shifted over to LJ, and suddenly, to feel private, I would lock my posts or just not make them at all.

But there's no secrecy in my life anymore (right?), and everyone knows that I have an LJ now. But no one will check it, and so it's the most private thing imaginable. For the most part, I feel like these hallowed entries are those of high school memories that I just don't want to let slip away.

I don't write anymore, so Angelfire is out, and I never felt too attached to Xanga, so this is definitely the way to keep the proverbial dream alive. In my memory. Not expecting regularity from this; the expectation of regularity is inevitably what destroys, as painfully obviously evidenced in my Blogspot.

So yeah. Let's keep this alive, active, and all alone.

Mood: Happy

Wow, hitting a stiffened, decades-old volleyball for an hour was a bad idea.

Worked on some E&M with Anandh. Feels good to get that brain cycling for leisure as opposed to necessity.

Submitted my resume to three different positions at Boeing. Augh. Ben Affleck would be ashamed.